Random Thoughts and Stuff

Universe

2012-02-01T12:15:00.001-08:00

What happens when the galaxy expands?
Does it burst into a million more stars or leak like a caramel gooey treat?
Does it erupt like an enormous volcano or break like a woman's water before labor?
Maybe it is born or is it burning to scorn?

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

Date Night

2011-10-09T16:52:00.001-07:00

Enjoying date night with the babe! I really wish that we could enjoy date night more often, but I am humbly grateful to God for allowing us thus opportunity to celebrate our devout love for one another each month. Russia date was supposed to be joes crab shack but, in the nature of all things unexpected, joes crab shack was filled with people at had a horrendous wait time. I'm happy with our date night commitment because it gives us a chance to spend time with one another and spark up the romance a little.

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Learning How to Cook

2011-04-23T20:50:00.001-07:00

As I sit here at 11:46am and watch my mother cook, I realize that she cooks from the heart. Her drive is much more than simply cooking. Her cooking is inspired by her goal to feed her family and be a great mother. Feeding her family is one of the foundations of her good mothering. She smiles politely and makes light talk as she cuts several leaves of greens. She gladly multitasks as cutting the greens and while pots of tomorrow's dinner simmer on the stove.

Her Recipe for greens in her own words:

Collard Greens

Begin with two to three bunches of collard greens. Cut stems out of leaf and then roll the leaves up and slice each. Wash the greens thoroughly in warm water two – three times to make sure all the dirt is cleansed. Take stems off and cut them up in little pieces. Set greens aside.

Fill large pot with water, chopped onion, garlic (to taste) and a pinch of salt, pepper and one smoked turkey wing. Boil. Let this stock boil until mixture simmers down to half a pot and then add greens and fill it back up with water. Season to taste (optional, few red peppers). Let greens cook on medium heat for at least one hour and add water as necessary.

Vegetarian Substitute

Instead of turkey stock, use onion, garlic and celery. Follow instructions the same.

See the full gallery on Posterous

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Daddy's Birthday

2010-11-15T16:39:00.001-08:00

For quite some time, my husband has been desiring to have his own "mancave-like" space. Today, was the day that he decided to clean out an old office area and make it his own. Upon cleaning out the office, I came across an old tape player and when I saw it I became immediately annoyed and shook my head thinking "....more junk.... maybe we can sell it on craigslist..."

About an hour later we came across some of my father's taped sermons and I felt compelled to listen. Moments later my niece walked in and my father's voice came on the audio tape. She asked, "Is that him?" as sounds of a familiar voice filled the room. I had to listen hard because I was unsure. As I focused for a moment on his words I realized that it was his voice. His baratone notes sounded so full of life and his words of wisdom instantly brought a calm to my soul.

It has been at least ten years since I heard the sound of his voice. I miss him desperately, and it took everything within me not to cry upon hearing his sermons.

Today is his birthday and I will forever remember it in my heart because I'll always be daddy's little girl. I'll miss him forever, but his words have brought me so much peace today.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

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Change the World

2010-04-21T16:44:00.001-07:00

Growing up, I thought I could change the world. I was certain of it. I thought of nothing else. It was my destiny. There was nothing else. I thought attending law school, becoming a lawyer was what I would do. It was all that I would do. I was certain of it. There was nothing else. I was beyond confident because in my mind there was no other option. It was destined, so therefore it should be. It would be, as it was supposed to be because there was nothing else.

I found love young. I lived for love. There was nothing else. It was as it should be. It was destiny. I lived for love. Love knows no regrets. I wake up in love. I fall asleep in love. I bathe in love. I eat love. I even love pee love. Since finding love. There has been nothing else. It is as it should be. It is as it was destined to be, because there is nothing else.

Even in my certainty, there has been uncertainty. My relationship with God has always been. It was as it should be - infinite.

One feeling that I have always felt - I am here to do something. It is my destiny. I tango with this feeling I pray to God to show me the light. Inside I know he has already shown me the path - but I tango nonetheless. I am talented to a fault. I am a dreamer to a fault. I exist even if only for a moment in time.

I know I am here to change the world. I know it. I know I am here to impact someone somehow. I am certain of it. I think of nothing else. It is my destiny. There is nothing else.

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Life is Always Teaching

2010-03-19T21:53:00.001-07:00

Things to Remember (A Note to Self):

Everything that you felt was going to happen this week did indeed happen. Tread carefully and trust your intuituon - it's freakishly surprising.

Your hair likes oils, but your nose doesn't always like the smell of the oils.

Your hair does respond well to the bantu knot out method (the bantu knot out is the ideal curling method for your hair). Double-strand flat twists leave it crimpy, but much is to be desired. curling the hair on rods is simply unsucessful on both blow outs and dry hair.

Take a moment and appreciate those around you for all that they are and all that they do.

Be more careful with things online.

Finally, everyone that you thought you know is now who you think they are sometimes they are not nice at all. Sometimes, those who you think you know, but pay no mind to are even more kind than you thought.

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Sister

2010-03-14T23:02:00.001-07:00

Some tattoo covered makeup artist called me "sister" today. Odd. Shocking. Upsetting. She was no sister of mine. I am black. She is not.

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Happy 25th Birthday to ME, World!

2010-03-04T15:11:00.001-08:00

March 4, 2010

Happy 25th Birthday to ME, World!

It's official! Even though I knew this weeks ago, even at 25, it's official that the world does not revolve around me - not even for one day - not just any day - MY Birthday.

And somehow I've been sucked into another family dinner-- just like the ones that I hate. There's still some glimmer of hope for this weekend.

Happy Birthday to me!

On Second thought F the Bull S. It's MY BIRTHDAY and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it (what's left of it anyway).

*signing off as fierce and 25 years *

Kari

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Happy 25th Birthday to ME, World!

2010-03-04T14:57:00.001-08:00

It's official! Even though I knew this weeks ago, even at 25, it's official that the world does not revolve around you - not even for one day - not just any day - YOUR Birthday.

And somehow I've been sucked into another family dinner-- just like the ones that I hate. There's still some glimmer of hope for this weekend.

Happy Birthday to me!

On Second thought F the Bull S. It's MY BIRTHDAY and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it (what's left of it anyway).

*signing off as fierce and 25*

Kari

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Almost 25

2010-02-22T14:27:00.001-08:00

I'm almost 25. am not exactly sure what I have to show for it. My greatest fear is one of my deepest desires. I struggle everyday to be free. I'm not sure why I have chosen this path, but at the time it seemed like a good idea.

It's unfair. Everyone puts extrinsic value on what you do, rather than who you are. Perhaps that's a greater problem in our culture. Is the content of your soul or your desire not as important as your income? What exactly are we saying? I love to learn. I love to learn about the things that I love to learn. I just don't want to be boxed. I want to breath.

My best friend is my husband. I'm almost 25.

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Reality

2010-02-19T10:07:00.001-08:00

Every morning you wake up and make a choice. It is those choices that effect your happiness.

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Tonight

2010-01-17T18:19:00.001-08:00

Great weekend with my family.

But tonight.

Some people just don't get it. Leave me the hell alone.

Boom... Boom... TICK!!!

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OMG

2009-12-31T04:09:00.001-08:00

It was early.

It was good.

Actually, It was phenomenal.

I could have gone again.

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zSHARE - Your Love.mp3

2009-12-18T15:20:00.001-08:00

via zshare.net

Some girl on youtube. Her name is Jervae. Song is cool.

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Words

2009-12-15T13:44:00.001-08:00

A snowflake is beautiful. It has intricate detail. It floats freely in the air. It transforms.

Dark hole. dirty. in the ground. pit. can't get out. windy road. muddy. slippery slope. alone. terrified. paranoid. horror. nightly. lack of understanding. struggle. darkness falls. failure.

desire. freedom. amazing. talent. want. hunger. thirst. understanding. light. air. explore. meditate. God. success.

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Impromptu Photoshoot

2009-11-18T22:18:00.001-08:00

Some pictures that I amped up randomly. I thought they were of some value and should be shared.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Barack Obama's Brother?

2009-11-18T07:30:00.001-08:00

Is it just me or did anyone else not know that Barack Obama had a brother?

He lives in China and his name is Mark Ndesandjo. I think they sort of look alike. What do you think? What else do we not know about our President, one would think that this would have been discussed during the campaign.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

Barack Obama's Brother?

2009-11-18T07:27:00.001-08:00

Is it just me or did anyone else not know that Barack Obama had a brother?

He lives in China and his name is Mark Ndesandjo. I think they sort of look alike. What do you think?

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

Happy Birthday Daddy

2009-11-14T22:24:00.001-08:00

You know I could never forget your birthday!

Yet another year has passed. I can't believe you didn't warn me how quickly time flies. It's been an eventful year. I have had an array of experiences, tribulations, hurtles and much more.

Much has happened, just this year alone. I wish that you were here to celebrate with us. I'm 24 going on 25. As you know, I'm married now. He is the love of my life. I think you would like him because he has good morals and values. He loves me and wants only the best for me. He's extremely kind. I wish you could have met him. I missed you more than words can express on the wedding day, but I felt your presence. Even though you weren't physically there, I know you wouldn't have missed it for anything.

You would have been 62 today! Wow! I remember when you were 47 and I thought that was old. Now I realize just how young you really were and although you passed over early, I know you have been guiding me since the day you departed.

I just want you to know that we are always thinking about you and missing you each day. You will always have a special place in my heart.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

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Starry, Starry Night

2009-11-13T00:22:00.001-08:00

I saw a shooting star tonight. It reminded me of all the possibilities of the universe. It's been a long time since I looked at the sky with a hopeful and optimistic eye. It's almost like when you look at the sky and wonder what remains beyond the earth. Or almost like you have a satisfying feeling of knowing that there is something that is out there.

I suspect that those people that write those movies about the space gazed at those stars once or twice. They likely got lost in those stars and let their imagination run free.

Tonight was a beautiful night. It was one of those nights when you look up at the sky and see everything clearly. You are satisfied and for just one short moment in time it all makes sense.

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God Speaks

2009-11-10T22:15:00.001-08:00

God Speaks

WHERE does God speak to you? Have you ever noticed that God speaks most clearly while in the bathroom? Or is that just to me?

I was just noticing that both the hubby and I have had recent conversations with God in our bathroom on two separate occasions. Who knew our bathroom was a holy place? So I finally realized why I've been in a funk lately. It was revealed that we are all here to do work. Work as in God's work, and to fulfill a greater purpose. So I that's what I need to do. So simple, yet so deep. And like a breath of fresh air there's hope.

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Today I am lost

2009-11-07T14:34:00.001-08:00

I don't know which direction to turn. With each breath I want to be inspired, I want to be ambitious. I so badly want to be the old me- the inspired me, but I don't want the consequences that was accompanied with that inspiration, with that motivation, with that. I am fearful of the dreams that used to bring me great comfort. I don't want to sleep at night. I sleep during the day. I'm angry because I sleep the day away. I only have two hours of day light each day and the night never seems to end.

I'm angering the cheerful half. I am not really feeling much of anything other than frustration and anger and some hopelessness. . I am not feeling inspired. I need a way.

Today I am lost.

Tomorrow I do not yet know.

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Blessings on Their Way

2009-11-05T19:37:00.001-08:00

The world is an orchestra and God is the great composer. Have you ever wondered why all things come in good time? Or when all hope is lost and the world seems dark a door opens where another one shuts? I have. Just yesterday, I asked my hubby why some good people die early and people who are molesters, rapists and murders are granted long lives? While, I still don't have an answer to that question, and probably never will, I do know that God is the composer of the greatest song.

Like most of the world, I too have been effected by the recession. It seems that I can make no decision without thinking about how much things are going to cost. It's a very difficult time right now entering the workforce after being in school my entire life. I wonder if there could have been a worse time. It seems like finding even odd jobs can be extremely difficult in such an economy and at times I'm sure the money shortage has left us all feeling a bit low these days, but it's important to know that each day God makes miracles happen and many blessings.

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Youtube

2009-11-03T12:39:00.001-08:00

I am really enjoying YouTube these days. Like most of you, I have been a longtime member of the YouTube community. The funny thing is that I never really noticed the communities on YouTube because I only accessed it for academic purposes. I am not really sure how I fell into the whole YouTube community, other than a friend tipping me off to the great makeup tutorials. I watched a few and immediately thought, "I can do that too!" So I tried to do a few- and I did. I was fairly successful, but realized that overall even though I was contributing to the community by making videos for African American women, I felt as though my videos were not extremely significant or ground breaking in anyway. As a result, I have sort of put the makeup tutorial videos away- I'm not yet sure what I will focus on, but it was fun while it lasted! Other than that I'll just be on the hunt for other really great YouTube videos.

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Guilt By Belief

2009-10-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

I suddenly don't feel guilty any longer for not loving everyone. In fact, there have been a considerable amount of people throughout my life that I have not even liked, let alone loved. I feel as though I have an instance sense of relief. I no longer have to hide behind the falsity of loving everyone, despite their actions, despite their behavior, and despite their trustworthiness.
So Christianity teaches altruism. This has been hammered in my head since I can remember. I have felt guilty for not always believing in altruism, but being told my entire life that it is right. In fact, this realization is so conflicting that at this very moment it brings tears to my eyes.

Is it right to tell a girl that she must love all, selflessly even when she is sexually assaulted through violent acts of rape. Must she love her rapist and selflessly practice altruism?

Is it ethically moral to love the drug dealer who sells drugs to his own people?

Must we love those who kill us?
Must we love those who hate us?
Must we really love all? Must we? If we dare not, are we wrong? Are we less christian? Are we less ethical? Are we less moral? Are we less? Are we at all? Are we? Are? ?

Should love only be given to those that do love? Should it be given only to those that show love? Who is deserving of our love?

I say it today, I say it loud, I say it proud, but I cannot first say this without stating that I am no less. I am no less moral. I am no less ethical. I am no less christian. I am not wrong. I do not dare. I do love some. I do not love all. I may be selfish, but I refuse to feel guilt for not liking all, for not loving all.

I am willing, but for today, I do not.
I can breath and feel free at this moment in time.
I feel no guilt.

Sources of Inspiration:

Ayn Rand
Anthem: Ayn Rand

Altruism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism

Holy Bible
Catholic School (Nazareth Hall Elementary)
Parents