Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Words
A snowflake is beautiful. It has intricate detail. It floats freely in the air. It transforms.
Dark hole. dirty. in the ground. pit. can't get out. windy road. muddy. slippery slope. alone. terrified. paranoid. horror. nightly. lack of understanding. struggle. darkness falls. failure. desire. freedom. amazing. talent. want. hunger. thirst. understanding. light. air. explore. meditate. God. success.Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Impromptu Photoshoot
Barack Obama's Brother?
Barack Obama's Brother?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Happy Birthday Daddy
You know I could never forget your birthday!
Yet another year has passed. I can't believe you didn't warn me how quickly time flies. It's been an eventful year. I have had an array of experiences, tribulations, hurtles and much more. Much has happened, just this year alone. I wish that you were here to celebrate with us. I'm 24 going on 25. As you know, I'm married now. He is the love of my life. I think you would like him because he has good morals and values. He loves me and wants only the best for me. He's extremely kind. I wish you could have met him. I missed you more than words can express on the wedding day, but I felt your presence. Even though you weren't physically there, I know you wouldn't have missed it for anything. You would have been 62 today! Wow! I remember when you were 47 and I thought that was old. Now I realize just how young you really were and although you passed over early, I know you have been guiding me since the day you departed. I just want you to know that we are always thinking about you and missing you each day. You will always have a special place in my heart. Happy Birthday Daddy.Friday, November 13, 2009
Starry, Starry Night
I saw a shooting star tonight. It reminded me of all the possibilities of the universe. It's been a long time since I looked at the sky with a hopeful and optimistic eye. It's almost like when you look at the sky and wonder what remains beyond the earth. Or almost like you have a satisfying feeling of knowing that there is something that is out there.
I suspect that those people that write those movies about the space gazed at those stars once or twice. They likely got lost in those stars and let their imagination run free. Tonight was a beautiful night. It was one of those nights when you look up at the sky and see everything clearly. You are satisfied and for just one short moment in time it all makes sense.Tuesday, November 10, 2009
God Speaks
WHERE does God speak to you? Have you ever noticed that God speaks most clearly while in the bathroom? Or is that just to me? I was just noticing that both the hubby and I have had recent conversations with God in our bathroom on two separate occasions. Who knew our bathroom was a holy place? So I finally realized why I've been in a funk lately. It was revealed that we are all here to do work. Work as in God's work, and to fulfill a greater purpose. So I that's what I need to do. So simple, yet so deep. And like a breath of fresh air there's hope.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Today I am lost
I don't know which direction to turn. With each breath I want to be inspired, I want to be ambitious. I so badly want to be the old me- the inspired me, but I don't want the consequences that was accompanied with that inspiration, with that motivation, with that. I am fearful of the dreams that used to bring me great comfort. I don't want to sleep at night. I sleep during the day. I'm angry because I sleep the day away. I only have two hours of day light each day and the night never seems to end.
I'm angering the cheerful half. I am not really feeling much of anything other than frustration and anger and some hopelessness. . I am not feeling inspired. I need a way.Today I am lost. Tomorrow I do not yet know.Thursday, November 5, 2009
Blessings on Their Way
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Youtube
I am really enjoying YouTube these days. Like most of you, I have been a longtime member of the YouTube community. The funny thing is that I never really noticed the communities on YouTube because I only accessed it for academic purposes. I am not really sure how I fell into the whole YouTube community, other than a friend tipping me off to the great makeup tutorials. I watched a few and immediately thought, "I can do that too!" So I tried to do a few- and I did. I was fairly successful, but realized that overall even though I was contributing to the community by making videos for African American women, I felt as though my videos were not extremely significant or ground breaking in anyway. As a result, I have sort of put the makeup tutorial videos away- I'm not yet sure what I will focus on, but it was fun while it lasted! Other than that I'll just be on the hunt for other really great YouTube videos.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Guilt By Belief
So Christianity teaches altruism. This has been hammered in my head since I can remember. I have felt guilty for not always believing in altruism, but being told my entire life that it is right. In fact, this realization is so conflicting that at this very moment it brings tears to my eyes.
Is it right to tell a girl that she must love all, selflessly even when she is sexually assaulted through violent acts of rape. Must she love her rapist and selflessly practice altruism?
Is it ethically moral to love the drug dealer who sells drugs to his own people?
Must we love those who kill us?
Must we love those who hate us?
Must we really love all? Must we? If we dare not, are we wrong? Are we less christian? Are we less ethical? Are we less moral? Are we less? Are we at all? Are we? Are? ?
Should love only be given to those that do love? Should it be given only to those that show love? Who is deserving of our love?
I say it today, I say it loud, I say it proud, but I cannot first say this without stating that I am no less. I am no less moral. I am no less ethical. I am no less christian. I am not wrong. I do not dare. I do love some. I do not love all. I may be selfish, but I refuse to feel guilt for not liking all, for not loving all.
I am willing, but for today, I do not.
I can breath and feel free at this moment in time.
I feel no guilt.
Sources of Inspiration:
Ayn Rand
Anthem: Ayn Rand
Altruism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism
Holy Bible
Catholic School (Nazareth Hall Elementary)
Parents





