OMG

It was early.

It was good.

Actually, It was phenomenal.

I could have gone again.
 

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

zSHARE - Your Love.mp3

via zshare.net

Some girl on youtube. Her name is Jervae. Song is cool.

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Words

A snowflake is beautiful. It has intricate detail. It floats freely in the air. It transforms.

Dark hole. dirty. in the ground. pit. can't get out.  windy road. muddy. slippery slope. alone. terrified. paranoid. horror. nightly. lack of understanding. struggle. darkness falls. failure.

desire. freedom. amazing. talent. want. hunger. thirst. understanding. light. air. explore. meditate. God.  success.

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Impromptu Photoshoot

Some pictures that I amped up randomly.  I thought they were of some value and should be shared.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Barack Obama's Brother?

Is it just me or did anyone else not know that Barack Obama had a brother?

He lives in China and his name is Mark Ndesandjo. I think they sort of look alike. What do you think? What else do we not know about our President, one would think that this would have been discussed during the campaign.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

Barack Obama's Brother?

Is it just me or did anyone else not know that Barack Obama had a brother?

He lives in China and his name is Mark Ndesandjo. I think they sort of look alike. What do you think?

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Kari's posterous

Happy Birthday Daddy

You know I could never forget your birthday!

Yet another year has passed. I can't believe you didn't warn me how quickly time flies. It's been an eventful year. I have had an array of experiences, tribulations, hurtles and much more.

Much has happened, just this year alone. I wish that you were here to celebrate with us. I'm 24 going on 25. As you know, I'm married now.  He is the love of my life. I think you would like him because he has good morals and values. He loves me and wants only the best for me. He's extremely kind.  I wish you could have met him. I missed you more than words can express on the wedding day, but I felt your presence. Even though you weren't physically there,  I know you wouldn't have missed it for anything.

You would have been 62 today! Wow! I remember when you were 47 and I thought that was old. Now I realize just how young you really were and although you passed over early, I know you have been guiding me since the day you departed.

I just want you to know that we are always thinking about you and missing you each day. You will always have a special place in my heart.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

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Starry, Starry Night

I saw a shooting star tonight. It reminded me of all the possibilities of the universe. It's been a long time since I looked at the sky with a hopeful and optimistic eye.  It's almost like when you look at the sky and wonder what remains beyond the earth. Or almost like you have a satisfying feeling of knowing that there is something that is out there.

I suspect that those people that write those movies about the space gazed at those stars once or twice. They likely got lost in those stars and let their imagination run free.

Tonight was a beautiful night. It was one of those nights when you look up at the sky and see everything clearly. You are satisfied and for just one short moment in time it all makes sense.

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God Speaks

God Speaks

WHERE does God speak to you? Have you ever noticed that God speaks most clearly while in the bathroom? Or is that just to me?

I was just noticing that both the hubby and I have had recent conversations with God in our bathroom on two separate occasions. Who knew our bathroom was a holy place? So I finally realized why I've been in a funk lately. It was revealed that we are all here to do work. Work as in God's work, and to fulfill a greater purpose. So I that's what I need to do. So simple, yet so deep. And like a breath of fresh air there's hope.

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Today I am lost

I don't know which direction to turn. With each breath I want to be inspired, I want to be ambitious. I so badly want to be the old me- the inspired me, but I don't want the consequences that was accompanied with that inspiration, with that motivation, with that. I am fearful of the dreams that used to bring me great comfort. I don't want to sleep at night. I sleep during the day. I'm angry because I sleep the day away. I only have two hours of day light each day and the night never seems to end.

 I'm angering the cheerful half. I am not really feeling much of anything other than frustration and anger and some hopelessness. . I am not feeling inspired. I need a way.

Today I am lost.

Tomorrow I do not yet know.

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Blessings on Their Way

The world is an orchestra and God is the great composer. Have you ever wondered why all things come in good time? Or when all hope is lost and the world seems dark a door opens where another one shuts? I have.  Just yesterday, I asked my hubby why some good people die early and people who are molesters, rapists and murders are granted long lives? While, I still don't have an answer to that question, and probably never will, I do know that God is the composer of the greatest song.

Like most of the world, I too have been effected by the recession. It seems that I can make no decision without thinking about how much things are going to cost. It's a very difficult time right now entering the workforce after being in school my entire life. I wonder if there could have been a worse time. It seems like finding even odd jobs can be extremely difficult in such an economy and at times I'm sure the money shortage has left us all feeling a bit low these days, but it's important to know that each day God makes miracles happen and many blessings.

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Youtube

I am really enjoying YouTube these days. Like most of you, I have been a longtime member of the YouTube community. The funny thing is that I never really noticed the communities on YouTube because I only accessed it for academic purposes. I am not really sure how I fell into the whole YouTube community, other than a friend tipping me off to the great makeup tutorials. I watched a few and immediately thought, "I can do that too!" So I tried to do a few- and I did. I was fairly successful,  but realized that overall even though I was contributing to the community  by making videos for African American women, I felt as though my videos were not extremely significant or ground breaking in anyway. As a result, I have sort of put the makeup tutorial videos away- I'm not yet sure what I will focus on, but it was fun while it lasted! Other than that I'll just be on the hunt for other really great YouTube videos.

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Guilt By Belief

I suddenly don't feel guilty any longer for not loving everyone. In fact, there have been a considerable amount of people throughout my life that I have not even liked, let alone loved. I feel as though I have an instance sense of relief. I no longer have to hide behind the falsity of loving everyone, despite their actions, despite their behavior, and despite their trustworthiness.
So Christianity teaches altruism. This has been hammered in my head since I can remember. I have felt guilty for not always believing in altruism, but being told my entire life that it is right. In fact, this realization is so conflicting that at this very moment it brings tears to my eyes.

Is it right to tell a girl that she must love all, selflessly even when she is sexually assaulted through violent acts of rape. Must she love her rapist and selflessly practice altruism?

Is it ethically moral to love the drug dealer who sells drugs to his own people?

Must we love those who kill us?
Must we love those who hate us?
Must we really love all? Must we? If we dare not, are we wrong? Are we less christian? Are we less ethical? Are we less moral? Are we less? Are we at all? Are we? Are? ?

Should love only be given to those that do love? Should it be given only to those that show love? Who is deserving of our love?

I say it today, I say it loud, I say it proud, but I cannot first say this without stating that I am no less. I am no less moral. I am no less ethical. I am no less christian. I am not wrong. I do not dare. I do love some. I do not love all. I may be selfish, but I refuse to feel guilt for not liking all, for not loving all.

I am willing, but for today, I do not.
I can breath and feel free at this moment in time.
I feel no guilt.


Sources of Inspiration:

Ayn Rand
Anthem: Ayn Rand




Altruism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism

Holy Bible
Catholic School (Nazareth Hall Elementary)
Parents